How to Continue Living Life After Losing a Loved One
Written By Tori Lich, Counseling Intern
Key Words: Grief, Loss, Death, Bereavement
Disclaimer: The information and resources provided in this blog post are simply supplementary information. The recommendations and resources in this post are not a substitute for mental health treatment.
How to Continue Living Life After Losing a Loved One
Grief and loss are two experiences that nearly everyone goes through at some point in their lives. This fact has been brought to the forefront of many people's lives in the light of the unprecedented Covid-19 pandemic adding layers of shock, isolation, and at times hopelessness. It can feel difficult to continue living day-to-day life after losing a loved one; this healing process takes time and cannot be rushed. Grief is not something that one can simply "get over," but it is something that one learns to grow around as time goes on and as they reconnect with family, meet new people and experience new joys (Tonkin, 2009). There are several strategies that have been shown to facilitate this growth for those experiencing the loss of a loved one.
Talking About Your Loved One/Celebrating Their Life:
Often the instinct of those experiencing loss is to isolate and avoid others; however, telling your story can aid in processing and understanding what has happened (Nordal, 2011). In addition, talking about your loved one presents the opportunity to celebrate their life as well as reflect on fond memories (Whalley & Kaur, 2020).
Express Your Feelings:
Each person experiences a different breadth of emotions during bereavement, such as sadness, confusion, anger, exhaustion, shock, guilt, and many others in between. It is often helpful to say those feelings aloud to a friend, family member, or licensed professional (Mental Health America. n.d). However, if you don't feel ready or comfortable to express those feelings to another individual, it may be helpful to write them down first (Whalley & Kaur, 2020).
Take Care of Your Health:
Although it may feel hard to prioritize yourself during these times, getting exercise, eating healthy foods, and ensuring good sleep is integral in the healing process (Nordal, 2011). In addition, a fundamental part of taking care of one's health is maintaining an awareness of one's alcohol consumption, use of medications, and consumption of other substances because there is a possibility of developing a dependence on these substances (Mental Health America. n.d).
Spend Time With Others Dealing With The Loss:
Part of why the loss of a loved one is so painful is because those grieving have felt immense love for the person. Sharing stories and remembering funny or touching times with fellow loved ones of the deceased can make a significant difference for many people (Nordal, 2011).
Seek Outside Help:
It's not uncommon for the weight of the grief to feel like too much to bear. In such circumstances, it can be valuable to pursue outside help from a mental health professional (Nordal, 2011). Often there are support groups in many areas specific to different types of losses that can be helpful in processing and building a supportive community for growth and healing (Mental Health America. n.d).
Although the pain of losing a loved one will never go away, eventually, it will lessen. Remember, you are not alone, and others can understand what you are going through and help you grow around this loss. Grief can be dark and heavy, but there are ways to lighten the load of your loss so that it does not drag you away from all your cherished memories with your loved one.
References
Mental Health America. (n.d). Bereavement and Grief. https://www.mhanational.org/bereavement-and-grief
Nordal, K. C. (2011, March.) Grief: Coping with the loss of your loved one. American Psychological Association. https://www.apa.org/topics/families/grief
Tonkin, L. (2009, January 7). Growing around grief- Another way of looking at grief and recovery. Bereavement Care. 15(1), 10. https://doi.org/10.1080/02682629608657376
Whalley, M. & Kaur, H. (2020, August 4). Grief, Loss, and Bereavement. Psychology Tools. https://www.psychologytools.com/self-help/grief-loss-and-bereavement/